Foremost, in the battle of the weight gain, Logan remains the heavyweight champion, coming in at 3 lbs., 3 ozs with Landon not far behind at 3 lbs., 1 oz! It's amazing how much they've both grown and finally look and act like "real" babies (just miniature versions!) now that they are filling out and are free of many of the wires, tubes, face masks, etc. that plagued them for the first 8 weeks of their lives. One of the greatest parts of the boys being off the ventilator is that now that they don't have the ET tube down their throat, I have been able to hear both of them cry for the first time. Although it breaks my heart to see them upset, it truly is the sweetest sound I have ever heard. We were deprived of that special moment, that feeling of relief and release that overcomes a parent when your baby lets out that loud and encouraging cry at birth and you hear his or her voice for the very first time. So many parents take that moment for granted, but like this entire pregnancy and everything my boys will ever do in this life, none of it has been or will ever be taken for granted. And for that, I can only be thankful.
Steve and I have both been holding the boys as much as we can and changing their diapers each day and this week I am going to give Logan a bath for the first time (not his first bath, but my first time giving him one)! I am so nervous because I know he doesn't like it very much and I worry as usual that I'm hurting or upsetting him, but at the same time, I'm extremely grateful for any time that I can spend with him right now. It's not ideal and certainly not what I imagined, bathing my son for the first time in the hospital, but it's the hand we were dealt and I truly believe that before we know it, he'll be at home playing with his brother in our own big bathtub!! These are the thoughts that I try to focus on to get me through each day, week and month.